How Patriarchy Has Destroyed The Nigerian State Of Mind

I will begin with a very short but sad story. It was funny still because the more I thought about it, the more realistic it was. We were in a Business Communications class in 300 level in Unilag. The lecture was getting interesting until the lecturer asked a female coursemate of mine a question:

Wouldn’t you like to be the president of Nigeria?

I remembered the look in her eyes. The message was passed instantly. Then he said these words:

Inferiority to a man has become so personalised that it is now inborn. It has become a part of you and your mental state that you cannot see yourself in that position. Even the women don’t know they have alreasy internalised an inferior mindset by themselves.

Those words went in deep and I took it in for a long time. This is going to be a long conversation, but I will break it down so I don’t tire you.

The Victims of Patriarchy

A lot of Nigerians haven’t quite gotten a hang of it. A lot more Nigerians think Feminism is the devil. However, the saddening part of this whole story is how we are almost all victims of patriarchy. For example, if you put someone in a transparent box and tell them it’s not, they may live all their lives in that box and die not realizing it was transparent. In the older years, men were technically the only people allowed to work or do anything. However, if you dig deep into the African roots, this is quite false. The women worked in farms with their husbands and children from dusk till dawn and still had to go home to make meals for everyone.

The boys began to imitate their fathers and began to put themselves in the same box their fathers were in. This birthed multiple boxes which eventually led to a lot of things. This internalized mindset has inevitably affected everyone else.

The Annoying Feeling of Entitlement

Quite a lot of people have this intense feeling of entitlement. The idea that a man feels the woman should have ”certain responsibilities” and vice versa is sickening. This is perhaps one of the worst sources of patriarchy. Imagine a woman whose thought process is only about getting married to the rich guy and having kids. Then, having a shop or job. The man also has this same mindset.

Nowadays, it has even gotten a lot more advanced. Many men want their women to have careers, to be intelligent, but should be able to have kids and solely take care of them. Many women, having internalized an inferior capability of themselves, would rather be with a man who is working. He should have become ”quite established” and should be able to ”take care of them and the children.” Technically breeding misogyny and chivalry.

The Society Today

In the Nigerian society today, nobody takes women who attempt to break this circle seriously. A good example was in school. A coursemate of mine was contesting for the president of the faculty. Technically, she got a lot of bashing. In fact, her life and that of her family’s was threatened.  Until we understand how deep this patriarchy goes, we may constantly be swimming in the destruction of our minds.

5 thoughts on “How Patriarchy Has Destroyed The Nigerian State Of Mind

  1. My question is this, What is wrong with women wanting to get married to wealthy partners and bearing kids with them?

    What is wrong with a woman wanting a family of her own?

    so also, if a woman wants to live her entire life chasing a great career for herself and doesn’t want kids thats also perfectly fine.

    This is an obvious case of Feminasm. when we try to force our alternate opinion of how things are “suppose to be” on everyone.

    My own standpoint is this,

    Feminism is giving everyone/woman a choice and a chance to be whatever they want to be.

    If a woman wants to get married and bare kids for a husband she should be able to without judgements.

    If a woman wants to be a president of a nation she should be able to contest and be given a chance to compete.

    if for some reason she doesn’t win, the sole reason for that wouldn’t be its because she is a lady.

    Lots of men compete for public positions and most 99% to be precise never win. and other factors are blamed such as
    you were not popular enough,
    we didnt think you will be competent enough to rule and so on.
    and not just because of the persons reproductive organs.

    Great article anyway buy i find you weren’t able to establish a credible premise to justify the title of your article.

    1. Technically there is nothing wrong with having wealthy partners or bearing kids. It is just the mindset applied that is sickening. For instance, why should you wait for that long before you can be wealthy when you have enough skills and ideas to actually be initially. Also, I need to correct the theory that people should be allowed to do anything they want to do. Again, I am not constricting thoughts. I’m simply stating certain realities, which is there is an in-depth mindset that affects everyone

  2. About the premise, I stated initially that it will be a very long conversation. Technically, there are a couple of other topics that needs to be addressed. Thanks for the read!

  3. It will take a long time to kill the mentality sha
    It benefits both sides in different ways
    And nobody wants to let go

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