Ember Months: A Tale of Lagos During Festive Periods 2

The driver continued, this time giving prophecies. When we had gotten to about half of the road, the passenger suddenly asked the driver to stop. In his words, we had gotten to his workplace where he was the supervisor.

As he walked, his movements were a little paused. I didn’t mind because I was tired already. Then, the driver called the man. This time, giving a prophecy about his father.

Are you the first born of your family?

The driver/pastor asked.

Yes sir…

replied the ”supervisor.” I watched in horror as the driver continued talking.

Your father is currently in the hospital fighting for his life. He has been fighting over land with a woman. Tell him if he does not leave the land, he will die.

I took a hard stare at the man. He was well over sixty and I had imagined. Even if his father was really alive, he would be in the hospital because he’s an old man.

Eh God! How did you knowwww… Please pastor let me follow you anywhere you are going.

At this point, I was getting fed up of the conversations. Because he was talking a lot, his driving became very slow. I prayed silently that the conversation should stop. Rather, he went on and on talking and prophesying. During this period, he began almost too fast to talk about some history of my life that never existed.

I watched in wonder as he spewed out words he had concluded to be true. Behind me, the passenger decided to chant along with the driver. So that it almost seemed like it was call and response. Whenever the driver made a statement, the passenger replied with

Thizz a real man of God

The Finality

I began to get very upset, mostly because my time was getting wasted from the slow driving. Also, he was starting to convince me into saying ”Amen.” I realized it was almost time to get out. Even though I had known there was a foul play, I was too tired to leave almost immediately. As they tried in vain to convince me, I started to get irritated. Then the pastor/driver said:

Smile for Jesus now

Then, the worst happened. He missed the road in a poor excuse that he didn’t know the road. I knew it was about time for me to leave. While still in his car, he requested that we write down our names and prayer points.I quickly formed a name and wrote it down. The prayer points were random rubbish jottings. Interestingly, he was quite good at his guessing game. I began to wonder how many people he and his cohort had fooled all under the guise of religion. It broke my heart to think they could be thieves or worse kidnappers and perhaps had used this trick to hypnotize a lot of people.

A very funny Plot twist

After the ”name writing encounter,” the man asked the passenger to step outside the car and cross to the other side of the road while saying the words I am stepping into my glory. As ridiculous as this sounded, the man decided to step out. He was also instructed to leave all of his belongings in the car. The man who had held a brown envelope all along claimed he had a lot of money in it and he would drop it. In the driver/pastor’s excuse, it was a way to drop down everything evil. He promised that he will tell the man everything about his father and the person behind his father’s predicament. I watched in awe as I could not believe I wasn’t watching a Nigerian home video.

When the man had gotten down, the pastor drove forward and eventually turned around to get him. After he had told him who the culprit was, the passenger feigned a surprise. Already, they all looked like actors to me. I knew it was about my time to leave. The driver stared at me asking me to do the same. I had my laptop and phones in my bag. I wondered who in their right sense would ever dare to leave any of this things. It was time, so I got out of the car in triumph and laughed. My reply was:

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