In this part of the world, everyone knows how to handle someone else’s issues. Sadly, they forget exactly how to handle theirs. One of the most disturbing trends in the timeline of history is being judgemental. It’s everywhere and in all corners, more than you can imagine.
Seriously, don’t be silly
I would begin with my personal experience. Of course, before anyone comes up to ”fry” me with the words oh come on, quit acting like a saint! I will personally expose myself.
During my first year in school, I had met a lady who was coming in for registration. I had a quick scan of her appearance; extremely long painted nails, light skin, Brazillian hair, puffy cheeks, thick lips… the list goes on and on. I had already had this terrible notion of her, calculating that she was unserious. Perhaps she was even very saucy and would be a terrible person. It’s amazing how people make conclusions at first impressions.
First impressions have never really counted. It is simply another social construct. Tear yourself away from that space.
When she opened her mouth to speak, I felt really bad that I had been so judgemental just because of her physical appearance. She’s probably one of the most real persons I know till date.
You can never tell
Life is fluid, just as humans are. Having wrong judgments about a person is not just a turnoff for them, it is a big disadvantage for you. Not only would you lose out from a lot of things, but you’re also most likely going to consistently live in the past. It’s important to always give everyone the benefit of the doubt, well, until the need for it is not needed.
There is usually a statement old friends always make.
oh wow you have changed!
I begin to wonder whether as a human, you’re not susceptible to change. If you’re one of the people who do this, you need to calm down and make your own observations. Always ask or observe before you jump into conclusions. Most times, I have realized that people say this when the attitude or behavior of the individual is not beneficial to them.
It does not kill to be curious about what is going on in your friend’s life, especially in instances where you haven’t been in their life for quite a while. Rather than trying to pose a scenario of guilt-tripping them, be curious enough to understand their perspectives. In this instance, then, you’re free to draw your conclusions based on questions asked.
Respect Different Experiences
Over time, every individual has gone through one ordeal or the other. This will inevitably mean that they have gained certain experiences. On several occasions, it may not be a personal experience. It could be experiences gained from other people. So, you need to respect this fact. Again, you need to understand that everyone has different experiences which invariably leads to their choices in life. This is why just before you open your mouth to speak or stare in a very judgemental manner, think first.