in seven years we fell

As a kid, we would be caned for breaking plates, we were expected to be careful with plates and hold them carefully, and when it gets broken, ears were deafened to ‘it was a mistake’ there was simply no mistake in you breaking plates. It was the rule they had laid down, the system that has been brought to open, that which you must obey, if broken, you get spanked till you cried and sulked. Most times, we would hide the broken plates from older siblings and parents, our eyes blinking incessantly, hearts beating at a fast rate, hands shaking; bribing younger ones not to tell, most times secrets are revealed and judgements are passed. As an adult, I realised I could break plates without fear not even a shaking finger, this time rules were different. It would be considered as a “mistake” because you have “grown” to be “careful”. Everyone would simply look on like nothing happened. Everyday as we face life’s issues, we would find those who are rare through their reactions to such issues. And so today my story begins with a deep respect for human feelings and need… To those who make promises and keep them, to those whose hearts are still soft and red beating in beautiful thumps, to those who would never give up on something they once believed in and to those who would never let the most valuable thing go because they have lost that which is less valuable… In seven years we fall.. As she stood in the darkness, she reminisced the past; the memories were fresh like a ripe fruit, it flashed in front of her eyes like the sun did when one came out of the dark. She paced up and down the room with thoughts en circling her; thoughts of what would have been, she imagined for what seemed like eternity what life would have been if she had married ike. He seemed rare, spotless and unimaginably not one of the so-called “men” who would do unbelievably ruthless and most times stupid things in a relationship. That was why they had dated for seven years in a hope that they would eventually get married someday or, perhaps she had that impression that she would marry him, but the last encounter with him did not seem so ‘realistic’. She would not dare to think that Ike would call her one particular night and call out her name. It sounded flat, It felt awkward saying her real name. There were no sweet words like honey sweetheart, “Tomisin” just sounded strange, ordinary and unpleasantly annoying. It was unlike someone you have gotten used to to call you that… It was just one of the rules of a serious relationship. She knew why he was calling, but there was nothing to be said at that moment or at any time for that matter, her tongue was twisted; twisted out of words until her silence made him drop the phone. It was unfathomable, there was nothing to question either, it was rather puzzling why Ike would keep a secret for such a long time. Her world collapsed like a pack of cards when she figured out he had gotten married two days ago. She went from being numb, to shivering, to having a heart palpitation. It was all too heavy on her, she could not bring herself to dialling his number and questioning him. It was of no use now, he was MARRIED , there was no way out. Her silent sobs did not matter to him, all he did was find excuses and problems which he blamed her on. He said he was sorry even though he did not mean those words, she still found it hard to talk. She felt her heart break in all manners as she held on to her chest hoping it would not fall out of her body… She had thought she would die that day, she had also given up on love if it existed it was unimaginable… In seven years she had seen worse than she bargained, she was fighting a lost war, she was working to build up something that was not hers… Everything now was just a blur in her world now, she had other things to do, her children to attend to, her husband to love now because he saved her from the darkness she found in love just as he called out “ife” from the dark room she found herself in… How the heart creates space for someone else is somewhat miraculous.

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